Maids are Made in HEAVEN

The discovery of maids can be traced back in the dusk of antiquity and royal vintage but the present day mass adoption was never projected or thought over by then. A journey from luxury to necessity is now almost a lifeline for career pursuing couples and families. For those already acquainted with the cocaine of dependence know I am talking about your ‘Full Time Maid”. The world which is growing flat in boundaries and weak on relationships the presence of maid in effected lives has found new grounds and meaning. Names fade in the memory year on year but thankfully if you are lucky you have one always working for your homes and making you work harder to pay her with hefty annual charges and burgeoning broker commissions…and don’t compare your salary increment with their annual hikes they are bound to inch ahead in % . One of the few situations where you will convince yourself happily every year for hasty negotiations made to get her home quickly and hoodwink the expense under generic and all pervasive “Mehengai”. So if you have found a good wife be chivalrous and prompt to also find a good maid for your homemaker every year and year on year. Remember your wife is a homemaker your maid is the home keeper!!

If you happen to be a DINK or a DIK then I am sure the full time maids take you a hostage physically and emotionally at least once annually. A day without them, and you turn anchorless in your own house. The absence strikes hard enough to ground the entire day calendar with ever dreaded tasks of cleaning, dusting,wiping.washing, utensils, clothes and also food after few home delivery attempts. You may avoid few understanding guests or friends get together at your place but living with the vacuum of a maid cuts much more than visible to outside world. The frugal life begins subconsciously and along with it you continue with vigorous sniffing attempts for searching an ideal maid or any maid as the case may be depending how desperate you are to pass on the monkey which you don’t know how to handle- ghar ka kaam !

Available in three variants (in order of their tax free take home ) Fully Trained/Semi Trained/ Untrained the demographics may further vary and may ultimately lose significance after couple of maids have played a successful term from your tax paid take home. While you may closely count the number of maids archived in your growing kids age the list is bound to go endless for the remaining part of your life as well…Once made always a MAID ! The memories and faces fade in the roster of different names and accordingly these maids also adapt to the new homes/contracts like a human robot. Gone are the days when “Bahadur” was bahadur enough to manage your security and housekeeping or ‘Ramu’ was as obedient as ‘Ram’. Bahadurs & Ramus are dinosaured now in the Big Bang which brought with it a bigger Evolution of MAIDKIND! The new species is more presentable but deceptive in their looks as against the utility quotient with use of brain limited to money matters. These are usually found in front of TV, in balcony or chatting on mobile through ear phone. Their ears are programmed to turn deaf if you are shouting at them else body goes into a freeze state with all the functions ‘switching off’.

Actually speaking the importance of Maid in one’s life is realized not in her presence ( as we keep consoling ourselves with remaining tenure) but in her absence. The mammoth exercise of calling the maid agencies which generally goes unanswered at worst or ends up with a promise of next 15 days at best is a standard protocol…you may not miss much in both cases anyways as you are only preparing yourself to pay almost double than your last maid had cost you. The only thing which keeps you hooked on to your search is the enormity of Indian population and promises of maid agencies of some strange scarcity of such manpower globally!

India is a secular democracy and these Maids are living examples of uniting a diverse country as India. As long as she is able to take a note of tasks and make your kid understand the stuff she is accepted. Clothes, food, religion, rituals are adopted eventually every time in a new contract within a year. The rootless cannot be called ruthless though as you do stand a fair chance of extending the contract for another year and have a feeling of a PPO(Pre Placement Offer in your graduation ) by a top MNC to set you free of all the anxiety and horror stories of living without one. You got to be really lucky and adjust your time table accordingly to give a her a complete work life balance if want a PPO……don’t get panic if she does not return after a day of X mas holiday…pray for her return instead and be good to her !!

Infact, our employee friendly companies can be still friendlier to incorporate standard MAID policy like HRA…as inflation does not hit anything else the way it hits their annual charges which should be tax free. This will be good initiative for their CSR activities earning some social brownies and will lure good employees to employers having good maids as their assets!! No joking but companies should also run regional culinary courses to train the maids of eligible employees as he has full right to enjoy homemade “Gajar ka halwa “ or “Pasta Arabiatta” if they have been devoid after they left their mamma’s home- try imagining the prosperity and happiness it will bring in employees !! After all happiness is a state of mind and mind have deep roots in man’s tummy. The greedier ones like me however, would like to have a clause added in their joining offers- additional leaves to be allowed ‘Maid adjustment days’ leaves.

Just got an sms saying:

All good things in life start from M- Mother, Money, Moon, Mercedes, Marijuana, Mermaid and MAID

Way Forward:

*Stay hooked for a mobile app on maid keeping tips and GPS based advance search options !!

*May also follow with a centralized call centre for troubleshooting and handling their placement agencies ….hope Ambanis are not reading this secret business idea of mine !

After all “Maids are made in heaven and someone somewhere is made for your home also – next year. Till then enjoy the term!