The Hectic Horrific Traffic

In a developing country like ours, we may struggle to see GDP or GNP growth, but we never fail to see a massive increase in traffic. In the past, traffic was never quantified, and it took advantage of this ambiguity to grow and grow by squeezing us. We measure and publish everything from population density to literacy rate but never flash traffic density in cities or at least not to the common man. The element of surprise here is inversely proportional to one's luck, and we are somehow prepared to face the inevitable every day. It crawls most of the time, runs wild at times, and in its best form, may freeze to coin new terms like Gurujam or even something more dreaded. It relies on Homo Sapiens to populate every nook and corner of the city in the wee hours of the morning, and it enjoys riding bumper to bumper with honking horns and brewing road rage. It follows us to our workplaces returns with us to our living addresses. City life is now hard bundled with traffic.

It has grown geometrically in the past and is bound to grow in exploding proportions in the future as well. We have seen many earth-breaking efforts to curb this burgeoning phenomenon, but all underpasses, flyovers, sea links, metros, and diversions succumb to the sheer magnitude of the increase in traffic every time. Traffic detects newly built sectors in the city and with early solo sorties along with realtors, and then launches itself with a thumping victory to claim new grounds by a full majority. Malls and local weekly markets, as well as e-rickshaws and unabated parking along the roads, have exacerbated traffic snarls.

In not-so-distant memories, driving on the road was breezy and smooth, with few traffic lights in the city, that too with only about thirty seconds of Red, Yellow, and Green. Then came the patience-testing timers, which quadrupled the wait time to one-twenty seconds. Today we have mysteriously developed a universal amnesty for traffic lights while we are still learning to wiggle out of this fuming countdown, braving the scratches on our vehicles to save some possible time our minds have googled the maps and our nervous system is now mapped to – Blue, Orange, and Red. All is well when the line is blue - any other color is a delay, so traffic lights, in general, have fewer critics these days. All of our attention is now focused on the ETA (Expected Time of Arrival).

In some ways, traffic is a true road companion. It never disappoints anyone by its absence- it can perform a FALSH MOB at any time to provide enough amusement to the last mile of the journey and sometimes until the last drop of fuel. It possesses amazing avenger-like abilities every time we are en route to the airport or railway station to make us nervous with multiple spanners in the wheels. Dancing to the trail of tail lights and laughing at the antics of Khurrrafaati RJs only go a little far in bridging the distance. The only exceptions are Sundays when traffic is on leave or a proxy is present to allow the vehicles to breathe with social distancing otherwise the evenings are equally dense with a necklace of brake lights running throughout the city. I believe the JOURNEY part of the DESTINATION is no longer enjoyable. It depletes and consumes human energy more than fossil fuels.

While two-wheelers have developed a unique way of burrowing through the gaps and then falling in a cluster somewhere ahead like a bee hive, their four-wheeler cousins have few options for getting around the congested roads. For a better driving experience traffic and traffic sense must work in tandem. If we are convinced that traffic is a fabled monster, we must also respect the traffic antidote—TRAFFIC COPs! Drive in lanes, obey speed limits, keep your light beam low, wear your seat belt, and keep all 'One Ways' in mind. If you are caught flouting the rules, the penalty will demonetize you in court or on the road - we all know better ways of side shows with traffic cops. 😊

The Traffic Light Industry is an arterial offshoot of increasing traffic. It has progressed from beggary to burglary in unfortunate cases when the infamous Thak-Thak gang is on the prowl. While crossing the street, one can shop for anything from books to socks to seasonal fruits and much more and at most of the traffic lights (at least the sticky ones) 30-second sale pitches abound! Travelling along the trafficked lanes - Traffic has realized the hardships it causes to commuters and is attempting to make amends by assisting the needy and providing employment opportunities. While one may disagree with what I say about philanthropic repayment of traffic, one cannot disagree with some of the literary gifts of traffic like these – Graffiti on Wheels !!

तेरह के फूल सत्रह की माला,

बुरी नजर वाले तेरा मुंह काला।

चलती है गाड़ी और उड़ती हैं धूल,

जलते हैं दुश्मन, खिलते हैं फूल।

Traffic se darr ahi lagta Ramesh Babu – Sannate' se lagta hai !!!

Traffic lights installed at roundabouts robs the sense of common sense!