The Tummy Returns

Once a symbol of cuteness in childhood, it takes a gradual U turn to sit blatantly above the waistline, creeping out of your shirt every time you sit or bend. The sitting posture gets devised, the gait acquires a swinging swag , the tugging of shirt gets improvised , the trouser fits get altered only to tuck in the belly button and nobody can stop us from loosening our belts after an emphatic dinner topped up with choicest of dessert. Just like water finds its way, Tummy finds it acceptance and beauty only lies in the eyes of beholder. Even when the Himalayan glaciers melt in their seasonal cycles without any human intervention why should we worry about those piddly extra pounds which have been calorie coated and nurtured after every meal with puddings and laddoos– The sweet tooth came into our lives even before the wisdom tooth and no regrets or may be.

No body-shaming in this article- It is all about the way we carry it with aplomb and flaunt. The more the merrier- more of me per square inch for this wide wild world!! The real game is in keeping the waist size floating like home loan interest rate.

Very few of us would dare to adorn their marriage suits after few years. As the adage goes - size of your waist is directly proportional to the post marital bliss one enjoys. The trousers don’t get old. They eventually fail to hold you beyond the stretch and when you keep popping out from all directions – it is time for you to walk into an apparel shop and bless yourself with a new pair. Convince yourself and carry three sizes to the trial room to forecast your jelly growth and office drink and dine sessions to zero in on the size accordingly for next four quarters at least – or simply ask the attendant there to use the measuring tape for actual waist size in private- any unwanted attention of your spouse can be hazardous to the privileged bliss you were enjoying.

Then comes realization. Well, for some. Sometimes. You can still avoid chocolates and sweets but dare you do the same to beer which will make its way to get your Madhya Pradesh plateau inflated . The aromatic fizz of the chilled beer and the gullible sips down your throat not only take care of mental spasms but also quench the thirsty guts more than your tongue. All this holy cleansing along with steaming hot starters, the colonial calories get settled around the shorelines of your waist and hold their turf even after you go and leak the pitcher out and stuff it with butter chicken or mutton Roganjosh. This repeated phenomenon over a period of time manifests itself in the form of a Beer Belly and your cheeks glow luminous to point out the pints you store in them.

The tummy industry is a booming one actually even in these times when everything is eroding –The enhanced awareness of how they do it in rest of the world is certainly finding new ways for your Tummybug. The multigrain and fibre rich substitutes of your beloved carbs make sure your Buddha belly is a priced possession (not everybody can afford ). On the virtuous side, the doodle belly you foster is a source of employment to so many on this planet . The old tailor shop near your house who fixes the trouser rim at a modest cost to personal trainers who would be jobless if you were not growing horizontally. The old shirts bidding you a hugging farewell from size L to XL and then to XXXL keep you mentally sound on the Karmic cycles as a periodic donor and yes if you don’t find the size to wrap yourself, there is always a Master ji who takes your measurements with a single look from behind his thick soda glasses.

But everything which balloons up has to balloon down -They say the world is also turning flat (Ah yes! Flattening the curve is also a new lingo these days)– So while Earth took millions of years to flatten we can get that Dunlop reduced with whatever way it suits– Zumba, Aerobics, Vegan, Keto are for rich and fancy, the common man like me can find the affordable versions too …the stairs are omnipresent to start with. I wish this Godzilla belly gets declared as pandemic too and abdominoplasty becomes free for everybody .

BTW this is also asymptomatic in the beginning and by the time you acknowledge, work on it – You become immune 😊